Wear Skirts if Shorts Are Not Allowed

People with nothing better to do in some institutions and businesses feel called upon to decide what people are allowed to wear. Apart from their own atrocious dress sense, these executives have no other motivation or call to do so except self glorification on having implemented at least something in their otherwise useless life. Therefore, if shorts are not allowed, check the rules; skirts usually are allowed. Guys, get your skirts out!


This easy recipe was good enough for 12 year old Chris Whitehead of Impington Village College near Cambridge. The school's rules stated that students must wear ‘plain black trousers or knee-length skirts without slits’. I hope you notice the politically over correct usage of the gender neutral 'students'. By exclusion, any other kind of leg apparel was banned. On the receiving end of this ungodly rule we find the sexless students, male and female alike. The conclusion was obvious, and one wonders what brainless git had written the rule in the first place.

You’ll probably follow 
Chris Whitehead's reasoning. If it is hot and you are not allowed to wear shorts, then it has to be a skirt; it says so in the rules. And even if the numskulls behind the rules hadn't messed up by being politically correct and had distinguished between boys and girls (do they know there is a difference?), then Chris Whitehead would have had a case of gender inequality. Gender equality, after all is said, is gender equality and the letter of the law is not used often enough to enforce real equality. I therefore am all for Chris Whitehead's approach to the matter.

The school, not surprisingly, announced that it will go over its rules at a later date and did so quite speedily after being laughed at all over Britain. And if in future they try to make split gender rules, they might look for the possibility of meeting 
Chris Whitehead before the judges as he seems the type who would go for it, and rightly so.

The reason why shorts were excluded from the accepted apparel is unclear. The head teacher should probably be a politician, because his explanation was a mumble of parents’ wishes and empty blabla. You sometimes wonder how these nitwits end up as head teachers; but the good ones probably died out or left the country shortly after the first Labour government got its hands on what they call education.
Chris Whitehead intended to continue wearing skirts for as long as shorts were not allowed, which he took on loan from his older sister. It was a short protest once the school caved in. Chris Whitehead also intends to become a politician, but I hope he’ll study law first; he’d have a heyday running circles around what the British euphemistically call their legal system and jurisdiction.

I remember a time not so far distant in the past when it was normal for school boys to run around in shorts during summer, and I can't for the world of me find any reason why the situation should have changed so dramatically in just a few years. But then, the sick kind of parents that always know best for their children are in the rise, and they probably are afraid that a scratch on the knee of their hopeful offspring could diminish their chances in important matters such as X-Factor or Britain’s Got Talent, not to mention working as a model.

If you are being treated unfairly over shorts, it's time to act. Check the school and employment rules; either you are allowed to wear shorts, if not, at least skirts; and then wear them. If there is a gender clause, take them to court for gender discrimination. As a student you can do it yourself if your parents won't do it for you. After all, wearing shorts is a paramount right of boyhood and growing up.

And I hope that anyone has noted that I used the word boys throughout the article. I do not include guys or men in the list of people who should be allowed to wear shorts. I wouldn't forbid a guy or man to wear shorts as I am of the opinion that they are allowed to make utter fools of themselves if they really want to. But I draw the line at the point where the man is more closely related to a whale. And exactly these ever more frequent specimens are the ones that offend our eyes with wearing shorts most often.

Further reading:
Label Fraud
Prophetic Teacher: Willhelm Lamszus
Coming Out Overwhelms Many Teenagers

Chris Whitehead

Chris Whitehead