Outing Others

Outing others can take several forms. There are homophobic individuals or groups and haters who do it out of spite and pettiness. There are gays who do it out of wishful thinking or in a moment of pique. And then there are boys asserting their bragging rights. None of these scenarios are pretty.

We all have heard or read the stories. Gay man or lesbian woman is outed by someone. In the case of a not (openly) homosexual, the outing party usually is a hater, suffers from homophobia, or belongs to a group of homophobic extraction. If you look at such persons, you have to pity them. They are an unhappy bunch surrounded by back stabbers; ever insecure when it will be their turn to be brought down, they live a life of paranoia all too real.

On the gay side (lesbians will kindly transliterate what follows now), wishful thinking brings out real and fake outings. While such situations can be funny, they still aren't anything to aspire to. Just because a man is too pretty doesn't mean he is gay; desiring a good looking man doesn't make him gay, not even potentially, he just happens to have won the gene jackpot. Such behavior doesn't gain you anything, desist. It does not reflect well on your personality.

Worse is the outing by gays in a fit of pique. You failed to get what you wanted? And now you go and tell everyone that Mr Perfect Hetero was in bed with so-and-so? It's a bit despicable, don't you agree? It shows you up as a bad loser; in case you have the correct information, you obviously can't be trusted with classified information; lacking the correct information, you're a liar.

Boys will be boys, they say. But please grow up! What's wrong with you if you need to brag? Just because you managed to get another boy into bed doesn't make you anything better than you are. Contrariwise, it shows you up as a collector, a trophy hunter; I wouldn't classify you as friend material.

Are you so far missing anything about the hurt it does to the person (rightly or wrongly) outed? If that is the case, you obviously don't belong to any of the above.

Further reading
The Gay Tom Daley
Coming Out Overwhelms Many Teenagers
Call Me Maybe