The First Brexit Success Stories

Boris Johnson must be congratulated. The first month out of the European Union isn't over yet, and the Brexit success stories are already piling up. I'll try to concentrate on the more relevant ones in this article. It takes a genius like the Prime Minister to get results this quick. It's all down to his superior intellect and his ability to make quick decisions to which he sticks like glue.

Scottish Independence

As a member of Clan Forbes, it is my sacred duty to promote Scottish independence; as I don't live there, I won't be voting once things have progressed so far. I live in London; as a taxpayer outside of Scotland, it is my sacred duty to promote Scottish independence. Once Scotland is out, taxes in the rest of the United Kingdom can be lowered to bearable levels. Sorry to my Forbes cousins, you'll go broke.

Hands on Dan Osborne

We all know that Dan Osborne is a hands-on guy. And the guy gives now the chance to get your hands on him. Dan Osborne goes Dreamboys to strip away what he left barely concealed at the premiere to The Expendables 3. Catch him strutting his stuff outside his underwear for once on seven exclusive dates all over the United Kingdom.

Justin Bieber: 19th Birthday in London

Justin Bieber was bashing out in London for his 19th birthday (isn't that sweet, thinking of him being around for years and still only 19) and it turned out to be his worst birthday ever. We should excuse him for his age, then, as the events that unfolded were purely down to teenage thoughtlessness. Despite inconvenience to himself, he looked out after his guests first, though.

Compulsive Liars Apply For Minority Status

A group of compulsive obsessive liars appointing themselves as 'Christians' have applied to the High Court in the United Kingdom to get recognition as a suppressed minority group. They aim at having their lies acknowledged as 'free speech'. And no, to my knowledge they aren't politicians who do just that for a living.