Advertising is a constant pain on the radio, television, the internet. But it is necessary to pay for the entertainment we get. Once we were kids, and pooh sticks was a game we played. No advertising, no hassle. Which means intelligent entertainment doesn't need advertising; only greed needs it. The only joy one gets from advertising is when it goes wrong. And how it can go wrong. Follow me to the gallery of fails.
Advertising should do several things all at the same time; to this end, advertisers or the huge companies that sell their services in advertising are limited to about 30 seconds. One ad in a million is the strike of genius; some few are good; the vast majority is humdrum but within what the client expects; some are just so wrong for the divers of reasons.
My favorite hate is the Head & Shoulders ad, not the one with the stupid woman who's name escapes me; that is bad enough. It's the one with the most intelligent line 'removes up to 100% of dandruff'. Really? When I first heard it, I thought I had a fever dream. No one can be so totally demented as to have a line like that in an ad. But it was there, and I never bought the product again, after all, up to included zero; keep your crap guys. The same stupidity can be seen in numerous ads in the beauty sector. If short on facts, sell up to 100%.
Years and years back, there was a radio ad that was so unbelievably funny that I almost drove off the road because I was laughing so hard. There were so many jokes hidden in the 30 seconds, it never got old, and kept on amusing everyone. None of my friends or I ever got what the ad was for; neither the brand nor the product name, style or type. I would say that qualifies as a fail, even if the entertainment value was better than most comedy shows.
French television had, also years in the past, an advert for cars that stuck in my mind. You saw a small red car drive towards a red light using the left hand lane; a woman was driving, beside her a gorgeous male escort. There was the same kind of car waiting at the red light right hand lane. Her hand went to a button and the seat with the escort lowered down and reclined hiding him from view. She opened the window talking to the older gentleman in the other car 'Dinner at the usual time?'. He confirmed, the light turned green and he turned right, she went straight. The hand hit the button again, and a gorgeous male escort appeared on the passenger seat coming up. But it was in the man's car, no the lady. Unhappily, I never got which make the cars were. Fail. And to make it clear, that was years after the Ford Escort; that would have been brilliant.
German television had a car ad in a snow storm at about the same time. A car drove up a pass road to a lonely chalet. Cut into the chalet, where a blond woman makes herself ready to receive someone. Cut back to the car in the storm. Cut back into the chalet where a black haired woman made herself ready. Sorry? Blond or black? The driver parks up in front of the chalet and goes inside. Black hair says: 'Won't you wife expect you?' He answered 'not in this weather'. Cut to a car parking up in front of a chalet. The driver enters and asked: 'Won't your husband come home soon?' Blond hair answered 'not in this weather'. And come to think of it, it might have been an advert for tires. Definitely a fail.
Purina currently has an ad on radio where a woman's voice waxes lyrical about how well her cat is doing since she feeds her Purina. She even advises other cat owners to enter the Purina three weeks challenge to se how their cat is doing. And then she goes on: 'Your pet, our passion. Because we care.' And I just thought wait, that was the 'customer' who just outed herself as an employee. I was so annoyed by this that I wrote an email to Purina when I felt like ranting at somebody. Come to think of it, I haven't heard the ad since then.
The last category are the Christmas ads. Pretty, but entirely useless for someone like me. I can't remember last year's; I don't know who's carrot it is or who has snowmen for Advent. All they do is blow money into the chimney that could have gone to charity or to reduce prices. As my gran used to say: 'Don't buy any products that you read, see or hear about in adverts. They have a problem and lack quality, or they wouldn't need to make those adverts. The price is the same or more than for real quality and you just pay for these ads on top.'
Further reading
Product Placement
Branding by Avatar
Use Pictures to Brand Your Writing
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