Boris Johnson must be congratulated. The first month out of the European Union isn't over yet, and the Brexit success stories are already piling up. I'll try to concentrate on the more relevant ones in this article. It takes a genius like the Prime Minister to get results this quick. It's all down to his superior intellect and his ability to make quick decisions to which he sticks like glue.
I can see it in your face. You think I'm being sarcastic again. You haven't seen anything yet. I just have to get into it slowly; the hourly cabinet U-turns in best Tory style are leaving me dizzy and disoriented. That is what gets people to vote for the Tories, they don't know what they are doing anymore; they are completely turned around and still trying to find out what is going on two hours back while the decisions from then have just been overturned at least twice.
Success number 1: The Brexit deal itself is a master piece of diplomacy. It is worse than Theresa May's deal or staying in the European Union. It might even be worse than no deal. It's uniquely Boris; has someone checked who is profiting from it and where they send his money?
Success number 2: Boris has managed to separate Northern Ireland from the United Kingdom; if anyone thinks he is interested in keeping the United Kingdom unified, look at the Brexit deal and then try to say it again without laughing out loud. The clown has sold Northern Ireland to the European Union. Does anyone know where he gets his payment deposited?
Success number 3: Boris has managed to anger enough Scots to make them want to leave the United Kingdom. No Prime Minister has ever had such a success at being divisive. First he made the country crash out of the European Union at a cost of over 30 billion pounds, then he sold Northern Ireland to the European Union, price unknown, and now he's getting rid of Scotland. Next on the agenda: Chuck out Wales and sell Cornwall.
Success number 4: This one is a shining example of superior intelligence and leaders' forward thinking (or is that sinking?). He managed to claw back the a small part of the fishing rights in the waters claimed by the United Kingdom. There aren't enough ships to fish and there is no money to build them as the fishing industry is obsolete since 1973. There aren't enough fishermen to man such a fleet as they don't accrue enough points to immigrate and they get paid shit anyhow. And what is caught can't be exported to the European Union because of red tape (part of the blindingly successful Brexit deal Boris signed off on).
Success number 5: Travel restrictions and bans have been coming this way by the dozens. Thanks to not being in the European Union anymore, the government has absolutely no say in Europe; as a now unimportant little country slipping off the edge of Europe, no one else really cares. Well done Boris, we might be cut off for good with all his diplomatic skills.
Success number 6: While all economic indicators are down, one important one is going up, rapidly. Tories can exclusively claim this as their major success in a difficult time; the unemployment rate is sky rocketing, and that based on the figures of November 2020. This doesn't include all the bankruptcies caused by Tory inequity that happened since then. And the worst is to come in summer, according to the experts.
Success number 7: We are cut off from the vaccine production spots. The European Union is putting restrictions in place to stop export to foreign countries. Nothing to do with us? Thanks to Brexit we are foreign country and will be lucky to get anything. It must swell little Boris's chest with pride everyday to know that he not only killed 100,000 people by lack of leadership, by dithering, by making U-turns every hour; now he will kill thousands more by being unable to procure vaccines for the people. Maybe that is his way of lowering unemployment figures?
Brexit is indeed the success story of the century. Remember that when you go voting the next time; Tories are to blame for where we are, and Labour did nothing to stop the catastrophe.
Further reading
Flooding and Covid-19
How Economy Works
What the Pharmaceutical Industry Doesn't Tell You
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